Daria – Trouble in Lawndale
“Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Daria, right?” Jake Morgendorffer said, as he and his daughters approached Lawndale High.

“Did we move?” Daria asked, as she looked around, annoyed that her father had spoken after remaining silent since they left their new home half an hour before.

“Stop following me, Daria!” her sister, Quinn, said.

“Excuse me, we’re walking along to the same school!”

“You don’t have be right behind!” Quinn said.

“It’s not my fault Lawndale has such narrow sidewalks.”


Jake, annoyed with his daughters’ arguing, put his headphones back on. “I've been working on the railroad... come on, guys, we know this one.”


Meanwhile at Lawndale High, two students were already there. (Although calling one of them a student might have been stretching the definition a bit…) “Come on, Mack Daddy! I'll get the coach to write us a note. I'll say we need extra time on the free weights.”

“I told you not to call me that!” Mack said, exasperated. “And they're not going to excuse you from English for weight training.”

“I can't take any more of this Shakespeare dude, bro. He's, like, a total chick writer!”

Mack sighed.


“Maybe we could go to that Mall of the Millennium this weekend, Daddy?” Quinn asked as they approached the school.

“A hundred miles? To go to a Mall? There’s a Mall less than five minutes from home. In a car!”

“I’m sure there are some fascinating Malls in Southeast Asia.” Daria snarked.

“Southeast Asia! To go to a mall!” Jake exclaimed.

“She’s joking!” Quinn said.

“Oh!”


Jane Lane arrived at Lawndale High. She switched off the audio recording of the last night’s Sick Sad World episode. The concept of a model creating an encyclopedia was appropriately inane. “Drawing pictures in margins…” she mused. That was something she did often.

Having been enrolled at the School, Daria found that she had Science for first period. In class she quickly found that the teacher had issues… “…and like a husband going home to his noble and self-sacrificing wife, the rat keeps returning to the food box. That is, the positive reinforcement. Huh, if only men could be more like rats. Oh, sure, they come home at first. You feed them, you wait on them, and then, after twenty-two thankless years, they just up and leave. No note, no phone call, no nothing!” She slammed her ruler on her desk for emphasis. “Just... like... that!”

“I wonder why he left,” Daria murmured to her new acquaintance, Jodie Landon.

“Now, before I divide the class into teams of two, who can give me another example of reinforcement?”

The class didn’t give an answer.

“Fine, class. Ignore me... just like he did!”

“Just as well he wasn’t Jones,” Daria commented.

“I heard that!” Barch said. “But we’re not talking about cults. You can ask DeMartino about that! But you have stumbled upon an interesting answer. A charismatic man re-enforcing herd-like behaviour in his followers, leading to tragic results!”

“Excellent example Daria,” Jodie said.

Daria shrugged.


Between classes, Sandi Griffin was talking with Joey Green, Jamie White and Jeffy Brown, ‘So I said, "Sure, it's a nice car. Do you have enough gas to get to Loserville?’”

“That’s funny, Sandi,” Joey said.

“You really know how to tell a story,” Jeffy said.

“Thanks,” Sandi said.

“Tell us the part with Stacy again,” Jamie said.

“Stacy wasn’t in that story. It was just Tiffany and I,” Sandi said.

“Well then, take Tiffany out and put Stacy in,” Joey suggested.

Stacy then came along. “Hi guys!” she said. “Sandi, Joey, Jeffy, Jerome.”

“Hi, Stacy,” Joey said.

“Hi, Stacy,” Jeffy added.

“Hi, Stacy. It’s Jamie!”

“Oh, sorry!”

“Have you seen that new girl?” Jamie asked.

“The redhead?” Stacy asked.

“She could be new member for the Fashion Club,” Sandi answered.

“There she is!” Jamie said.

Sandi sighed as Jamie and Jeffy ran off.


Daria listened as Jodie told her how busy she was. “…And that is why I can only go to study sessions in the early evenings,” Jodie said.

“I bet you don’t have to deal with Family Court,” Daria said.

“Family Court?” Jodie asked incredulously.

“It was an attempt by my Mom to use Jurisprudence in family matters after my sister and I came home late one night.”

“That sounds crazy,” Jodie commented.

“It was,” Daria said. “But it didn’t last long, because they were too busy to enforce a month-long grounding.”

“That’s something I’d like to hear about at some point,” Jodie said as they came to the next class.


“Can monkeys surf the net, and corrupt our kids? Chimpanzee chat rooms, next on Sick Sad World.”

Claire Defoe switched off the TV after students started filing into the classroom. She saw the new student, Daria. “Ms. Morgendorffer!”

Daria came over. “Yes?”

“Your records from Highland are intriguing,” the teacher said.

“I experimented, that’s all.”

“Using a glue gun as an actual gun?” Claire asked with an eyebrow raised.

Daria raised her own eyebrows. “Oh, that. Those two deserved it, but I won’t do it here in Lawndale.”

“Good. I just wanted to hear it from you personally. I would like to talk about your previous art after class. There’s a student I’d like you to meet.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”


“Fifty dollars an hour!” Jane groused as she approached the art classroom. That was the amount Mr. Ewing had quoted for the average Math tutoring cost in Lawndale. She doubted it would be any cheaper in Oakwood. ‘Or Middlebury for that matter,’ she mused as she overheard other students complaining about exorbitant prices.
While on a paint ball field trip, Quinn finds that Sandi is gunning for her. Meanwhile, Jennifer joins Daria and Jane on their walk to the Great White Shark exhibit.

fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6963544/11/Quinn-s-Code

Archive Of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62012035
Spider Quinn
Let’s do this one more time. My name is Quinn Morgendorffer and for the past several years, I have been the one and only SpiderGirl. But let’s start at the beginning…


01 Quinn and the Spider
It was an ordinary day at Lawndale High. Quinn Morgendorffer certainly thought so as she headed to her science class.


“Good morning, Class,” Ms. Janet Barch said. “The field trip is today. I hope you have given your permission slips to the office. This field trip will cover much information on Genetics and Entomology, so be sure to take notes. There will be a test next week. Oscorp is one of the leading companies in biotechnology today. Too bad it’s lead by a MAN!”

Everyone in the class was familiar with Barch’s opinion of men, so they didn’t asks questions about that.

They were soon on their way.

“Have you heard about Brooke’s latest surgery, Quinn?” Sandi Griffin asked.

“I have, Sandi,” Quinn replied. ‘Ew!’ She didn’t want to think about it.

“I haven’t, Sandi,” Stacy Rowe answered.

“Wha-at?” Tiffany Blum-Deckler asked.

Sandi sighed.

“What do you think this field trip is about?” Quinn asked, trying to change the topic. ‘Something about genes?’

Sandi glared at Quinn. “Qui-inn! That is a question I would expect from the mouth of that girl who lives with you!”

“No, she would already know, Sandi!” Quinn pointed out. She didn’t like to be reminded of Daria by Sandi!

Stacy gave a nervous look.

“I give you that, but you don’t need to know, Quinn,” Sandi said.

“I hope we don’t have to wear those ugly safety goggles,” Stacy said. “Ugh!”

“Would those make me look fat?” Tiffany asked.

Quinn sighed.

“Back to Brooke,” Sandi said.

“Let’s not,” Stacy said.

Sandi glared at Stacy.

“Eep!”

“We are talking about Brooke,” Sandi said.

“She’s suddenly so weird,” Tiffany added.

“I wouldn’t know,” Quinn said. “I haven’t seen her around.”

Sandi sighed.

The bus soon arrived at the destination. )
Sandi’s Struggle
Sandi Griffin was annoyed. She still had Laryngitis. And yet her mother was insistent on her going to school.

Her mother read what she had written. “You may not be able to speak, Sandi, but you can still learn.”

She wrote ‘That’s crazy.’

“I have called Ms. Li. She said that you can still attend school without a voice.”


Sandi arrived at school. Most people she didn’t (usually) speak to, but her friends?

Quinn Morgendorffer was talking about her job at Governor’s Park. “… I mean, how was I to know that she dumped that guy for the other one?”

“Quinn, that’s terrible!” Stacy Rowe said.

It wasn’t often that Sandi agreed with Stacy, but she did in this case.

“I know! The first guy was a lot cuter,” Quinn said. “Hey Sandi!”

“How are you?” Stacy asked.

Sandi tried to say “Hello, Quinn and others,” but no sound came out.

“What did you say, Sandi?” Quinn asked.

Sandi tried again. “I have laryngitis!”

“Whaaat?” Tiffany Blum-Deckler asked.

‘It wouldn’t make much of a difference if she was the one afflicted with this affliction!’ Sandi thought quickly and with a glare. She wrote something on a notepad and handed it to Quinn.

“Can’t talk, Laryngitis,” Quinn repeated. “Sandi! You lost your voice.”

Sandi heard Stacy inhale sharply in shock as she glared back at Quinn.

Quinn noticed Sand's glare )
The Story of D – Facebook Edition
Helen Morgendorffer -> Rita Chalmers
But, if Erin never loved him, why'd she marry him in the first place?
Rita Chalmers Because he gave her herpes and thought no one else would want her!
Helen Morgendorffer Oh, lord Rita, it's a new millennium. When will people get rid of these outmoded ideas about sex?

Jane Lane Where is Daria?

Daria Morgendorffer Crap!

Stacy Rowe I wish I could win a Fashionvision Humanitarian Award.

Sandi Griffin As a prominent extracurricular organisation at Lawndale High, the Fashion Club has decided to lend our name to a worthy cause.
Quinn Morgendorffer A new mirror in the girl’s bathroom to replace the one that adds two pounds.
Sandi Griffin Donating a mirror will reflect well on us.

Jane Lane The plot may be a little muddled, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t like the story!

Sick Sad World This king of the jungle was one tubby tabby, until the animal plastic surgeon came to call. Lipo for Leo, next on Sick, Sad World.

Jake Morgendorffer Dammit! Why do they have to make the eye of the needle so darn small?

Sandi Griffin The Fashion Club has decided to write our own Fashion Magazine, in which we will make our own prognostications as to which trends will occur.

Jake Morgendorffer If it wasn't for Ellenbogen, I might be a Broadway lyricist. I could write songs for cats. I could write songs for dogs!

Helen Morgendorffer What are Daria and Tom up to?

Thomas Sloane Daria’s story was great!

Read More )
The Lawndale File - Facebook Edition
Daria Morgendorffer Agents? At Lawndale High?
Jane Lane Who are these 'different ones'?

Sick Sad World From outer space to in your face! Aliens walk among us! A Sick Sad World Exclusive now on!

Daria Morgendorffer Why are we talking about aliens again?

Daria Morgendorffer I'm still wondering what the hell Trent was playing
Jane Lane Same here

Helen Morgendorffer --> Daria Morgendorffer
Is something wrong with Quinn?
Daria Morgendorffer If this weren't a school day, I might have the time to begin answering that.

Helen Morgendorffer --> Quinn Morgendorffer
Is something wrong with Daria?
Quinn Morgendorffer If this weren't a school day, I might have time to say something about that...

Helen Morgendorffer What are they teaching about immigration at Lawndale High?

Daria Morgendorffer Why is Quinn covering her neck?

Read More )
The Geek Hunter Part 2
The students separated into two teams. “So, seize this opportunity to say 'private Yong Peron, reporting, sir or madam, ready, willing and able to learn the true meaning of teamwork,” Mr. O'Neill said.

“Let's go team!”

“That's it, Brittany! Who else on team red wants to say something before we begin?”


“To understand the disruptive nature of war upon society, first we must understand it's shattering impact upon individuals. I realize it's foolish of me to assume that any member Team Blue knows what physical pain feels like outside of a paper cut!” Anthony DeMartino said.

“Yeah, what a bunch of... ah!” Jake dropped to the ground as DeMartino pointed his gun at him.

“Sorry, false alarm!”

“That's OK.”

“Now, the object of the game is to shoot to kill.”

“Excuse me, isn't the object of the game to capture the enemy's flag?” Daria asked.

“Whatever. Move out!”


Read More )
The Lab Mouse the Geek and the Convention
Daria is forced to do an experiment with a mouse with Kevin Thompson. Quinn and her friends go to a Convention.

Fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6963544/6/Quinn-s-Code

Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29665767
Instalment 6: The Lab Mouse - the Geek and the Convention
Monday, November 21, 2005
Lawndale High School
The sophomore Biology class was in session, with Lawndale High's head Science teacher, Janet Barch, teaching.
“And like a husband going home to his noble and self-sacrificing wife, the rat keeps returning to the food box. That is, the positive reinforcement.” She then turned to her misandry. “Huh, if only men could be more like rats. Oh, sure, they come home at first. You feed them, you wait on them, and then, after twenty-two thankless years, they just up and leave. No note, no phone call, no nothing!” She slammed the ruler on the desk. “Just... like... that!”
 
“I wonder why he left,” Daria Morgendorffer said to her friend, Jennifer Burns.
 
“Now, before I divide the class into teams of two, who can give me another example of reinforcement?” Ms. Barch paused. “Fine, class. Ignore me... just like he did! Kevin?”
 
“Uh?” Kevin Thompson drew out.
 
“Shut up, Kevin,” Ms. Barch said, her misandry at full intensity. She turned to Daria. “Daria? Reinforcement?”
 
“Hmm...” Daria began. “To make a child stop crying, a mother might say, ‘That's it! I'm sending you to El Paso to live with your real father.’ Whenever the child gets upset, the mother might wave an airline ticket in her face, or maybe even frame it on the wall by the clown picture. The ticket stops the girl from crying, or showing any emotion... ever.”
 
Jennifer looked at Daria. 'Is that right?'
 
“I like the way you think. Kevin... Daria will be your lab partner.”
 
'Uh, oh!' Jennifer thought.
 
“What!” Kevin's girlfriend, Brittany Taylor, shrieked.
 
“You two will design a maze, and condition Kevin,” Ms. Barch said, then she quickly recovered from her almost faux pas. “I mean, condition a mouse using positive or negative reinforcement.”
 
“But babe, we've never been separated on a lab project before! What'll we do?” Kevin wondered.
 
“Pass? “ Daria asked.
 
Jennifer chuckled in amusement.
 
“Brittany, Charles will be your partner.”
 
“But Ms. Barch, I'm a cheerleader!” Brittany squeaked in protest.
 
“Give me an 'R.'” Charles Ruttheimer III, aka Upchuck, said suggestively.
 
“I really like doing mazes. Those ones on the back of cereal boxes are cool,” Kevin said.
 
“Well, now I am excited,” Daria said.
 
“Shut up, Mack!” Ms. Barch said.
 
Michael 'Mack' Mackenzie raised his eyebrows in surprise.
 
“Ms. Burns will be your partner,” Ms. Barch said.
 
'Cool, I can deal with that.' he thought.
 
“Cool,” Jennifer said.
 
 
“So, now Kevin's my lab partner,” Daria said at lunch.
 
“Next best thing to working alone,” Jane said.
 
“Oh, no. He likes mazes,” Daria said.
 
“I'd swap if Ms. Barch would let us,” Jennifer said.
 
“Mack's not that bad,” Jane said.
 
“I'm not complaining. I've worked with him before, although that was years ago,” Jennifer said as she started to reminisce.
 
 
4 years earlier )

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